Drafting the Best Thanksgiving Foods of All Time

Thanksgiving food debates can get heated fast. Everyone has their staples, their deal-breakers, and at least one item they can’t believe other people enjoy. On The Height Differential, Nick (Team Small) and Neil (Team Tall) settled it the only reasonable way: a Thanksgiving food draft.

The rules were simple: draft the foods you actually want on your plate. No dessert picks allowed — because that’s a separate argument entirely. There was even an upset pick that turned heads early and sparked immediate controversy.

Here’s how the draft played out.

Round 1

White Meat Turkey

Team Tall

Starting with the centerpiece. White meat turkey is safe, reliable, and essential. It may not be flashy, but when cooked right, it anchors the entire plate. Team Tall played it straight at No. 1 and locked in the foundation of any Thanksgiving meal.

Round 2

Stuffing

Team Small

This is where the draft got serious. Stuffing is a Thanksgiving power pick — crispy edges, soft center, and perfect for soaking up gravy. Many would argue this should’ve gone first overall, and Team Small wasted no time grabbing it.

Round 3

Egg Noodles with Gravy

Team Small

The shocker of the draft. Not a traditional Thanksgiving staple for everyone, but for some families, egg noodles with gravy are non-negotiable. Comfort food at its purest, this pick drew strong reactions — exactly what a great draft selection should do.

Round 4

Mashed Potatoes with Gravy

Team Tall

A classic, and maybe the most universally loved side on the table. Creamy mashed potatoes drenched in gravy are Thanksgiving glue — they bring everything together. Team Tall responded to the upset pick with a safe but powerful move.

Round 5

Cranberry Sauce

Team Tall

Love it or hate it, cranberry sauce belongs. Whether it’s homemade or straight out of the can with the ridges still intact, it adds the one thing most Thanksgiving plates need: balance. Team Tall leaned into tradition here.

Round 6

Sweet Potato Casserole

Team Small

This pick always divides the room. Sweet potatoes topped with marshmallows or streusel blur the line between side dish and dessert — but that’s exactly why people love it. Team Small leaned into the chaos and grabbed a polarizing classic.

Round 7

Broccoli Casserole

Team Small

Another comfort-food pick that doesn’t get enough national respect. Creamy, cheesy, and often sneaking its way onto plates next to turkey and stuffing, broccoli casserole is a sleeper hit — and a strong late-round value.

Round 8

Corn

Team Tall

Simple. Reliable. Always there. Corn may not steal the spotlight, but it rounds out the plate and never causes drama. Team Tall closed the draft with a steady veteran presence.

Final Thoughts

This draft proved one thing: Thanksgiving isn’t about perfection — it’s about preference. Some people want tradition. Others want comfort. And some are perfectly happy loading their plate with egg noodles and gravy and calling it a day.

So now it’s your turn:

Who won the Thanksgiving food draft — Team Tall or Team Small?
What was the biggest reach?
And what Thanksgiving staple did we completely leave off the board?

Argue responsibly — and pass the gravy.